RANT! Got up on the wrong side of the bed

WARNING! Rant ahead. If you are easily offended by colorful language, you may want to turn back now.

There's an adage that says something like, “If you give a monkey a typewriter and enough time, he'll eventually turn out 'Romeo and Juliette.' We'll I don't really believe that, but I do believe that if you a monkey a digital camera and a little time, he'll turn out a well focused and properly exposed photograph. That photo may be a wall full of monkey shit, and he may throw the camera against the wall when he's done with it, but, by god, there WILL be images on that memory card.

If we move ahead by a couple of evolutionary steps and give that digicam to one of the present day Neanderthals who has learned 'on/off', and how to hold the instrument to his eye, we'll still get well focused and exposed pictures of shit. The only difference is, this guy will get on a message board, blog site, social networking page, or dp review and claim this crap to be art and will proceed to prove this by scathing attacks on anyone who can't see how right he is. If we give this guy a manual, film camera and enough time, he may eventually turn out a well focus and exposed image. Well, I don't really believe that, but I do believe he will turn out either a well focused or well exposed image.

The problem here is, anyone under the age of about 30 may have never had his hands on a manual camera. By manual I mean - no exposure meter built in, no auto focus, and film. I'd love to give a 20 year old an old film camera to see how long it would take for him to load a roll of film. I'm wondering how many could even figure out how to open the back. This is the same guy who has no respect for Ansel Adams, Edward Weston or Alfred Stieglitz. I don't care if he doesn't like their images, but he sure as hell better respect the people who were the pioneers of modern photography.

Let me make it clear that this rant is not against all the serious, hard working people who strive for excellence in their photography. It's not aimed at the professional photographers who give freely of their time to mentor beginning and eager amateurs who may, one day turn pro. This rant is directed at those hairy backed, knuckle dragging, ass wipes, who post crap and call it art. These are people who, perhaps, bought a nice camera and got a lucky photograph of a “hot” car or “hot chick” and the recognition from his peers prompted him to proclaim himself as an expert in all things photographic. I just wish they would keep their egocentric and ignorant mouths shut and let the rest of us get on with having fun.

Okay, rant over. Apologies to all (except the above mentioned Neanderthals).

In A Dream

Have you ever had a memory of a place and felt it was in a dream? A hundred years ago, or maybe it was only 40, I lived in this place. A second floor apartment, no air conditioning, summertime, Hamilton, Ontario.

As I look at this photograph, with bedsheets for curtains and unmade bed, I can still hear the tunes from "Bridge Over Troubled Water" playing over and over on the phonograph and the songs of Anne Murray on the Canadian radio station. How strange a time this was.

If I say this is from "Bookends" - you'll know...

"Time it was, and what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence, a time of confidences
Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph
Preserve your memories; they're all that's left you"

Memories and a few photographs are all that's left from the the long, hot, 1970 Canadian summer.

Flickr set: http://www.flickr.com/photos/delosj/sets/72157603318858058/